I was at my mother and step father’s home to look after my 5 years old brother during their absence.
I have a nervous breakdown in front of him. He just made a little stupid thing and I don’t know why I reacted this way. I love him so, so much. I try to protect him from the quarrels of my mother and my step father. I want him to be happy (and my other brother and sister too), and I am really upset that he has to live, with some exceptions, the same thing I lived when my parents were married. It literally breaks me. This little child didn’t ask to be on this Earth.
Well, I was screaming and crying, I totally lost my self control, and I vomited at least 2 months of anxiety. He was scared, sat on the sofa, with all his cuddly toys and didn’t move.
After this, I apologized, but I know it’s not enough and he has been hurt. I feel so terribly guitly, and I hate myself. I’m a true piece of shit, a selfish over-dramatic whore.